While perfectionists usually achieve some level of success, as a result they are so afraid of failure, they frequently don’t realize their potential and attain success. One way to reach true success is to be willing to risk the possibility of failure, and children who are perfectionists are usually Drug rehab west Virginia reluctant to take the risk. Although the odds of success rise when they risk their lives however, the likelihood of failure are also higher. Therefore, children who are perfectionists live in the “safety zone” in which they stay at a safe distance from failing (so they still be confident about their achievements) However, they are in a frustratingly far from achievement.
Perfectionism and Emotions
You may think that perfect children feel elation and excitement when they meet their goals However, those feelings are not typical for the average child. The most intense emotion that perfectionists are often able to summon is relief! Where does this relief come from? They avoided an additional bullet from failure, and can be content with themselves…but it won’t last long. Recently I asked a bunch of students for how they think the relief would last and one girl stood up and said, “Till the next exam!”
What kind of emotion will children who fail to live up to their standards feel? You may think that they are disappointed. But , while it is an emotion that every children feel in the event of failure, may be from a positive emotion for perfectionists. The perfectionists feel devastated as they interpret the defeat as a personal attack on their own worth as individuals.
Where Does Perfectionism Come From?
In almost every parent-child talk I’ve had parents tell methat “I swear that my child was born a perfectionist.” However, there is no evidence to suggest that perfection is a natural trait. It is known that children acquire their perfection through their own parents and and most likely from their identical parents. Through their expressions, feelings and behavior children rehab centers near me associate being loved and admired with being perfect. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t inborn influences, but certain characteristics of nature, such as temperament, could make children more susceptible to a desire for perfection.
Parents instill perfectionist values on their kids in three different ways. Certain parents who are perfectionists teach their children to be perfectionists through actively celebrating and rewarding their successes as well as punishing their failure. They offer or rescind their affection based on the extent to which they can meet their perfect requirements. What kind of emotion will children who fail to live up to their standards feel? You may think that they are disappointed. But, while it is an emotion that every children feel in the event of failure, may be from a positive emotion for perfectionists. The perfectionists feel devastated as they interpret the defeat as a personal attack on their own worth as individuals.
Who were this obsessed with perfection
If children do well they are lavished by their parents with attention, love and presents. However, when they fall short their parents either resign their affection and turn distant and distant or display a strong sense of anger and resentment towards their children. In both instances, the children are taught that, if they wish to receive their parents’ affection and respect, they have to be flawless. Fortunately, over my twenty years of teaching I’ve only met a handful of parents who were this obsessed with perfection. Others parents are unintentionally modeling perfection in their children. Examples of how perfectionist values are displayed by these parents include being required to keep their homes and themselves look like a certain way and their professional efforts as well as their competitiveness in games and sports, and the way they react when things don’t go according to plan.